GOLF JOKES
Putt or Put
A teacher was taking her first golf lesson. "Is the word spelled
'p-u-t' or 'p-u-t-t'?" she asked the instructor.
"'P-u-t-t' is correct," he replied. "'P-u-t' means to place a thing
where you want it. And 'P-u-t-t' means a vain attempt to do the same thing."
Reverse Psychology
Edwin went to see his doctor. He wasn't feeling well at all. He felt
tired, run down, and generally suffering from exhaustion.
"My diagnosis is simply that you are worn out," said the doctor. "I
believe you have been playing too much golf."
"Too much golf?!" exclaimed Edwin. "What can I do?"
"You need to get some time off and relax," said the doctor. "For a
start, you could spend more time at the office."
The Buggy Track Club
Two guys of equal ability decide to have a round together and to 'play
it as it lies' on all shots. Both hit their tee shots on the par-5 No.1
hole about 250 yards down the middle.
They drive up for the second shot, and the first gentleman hits his
shot down the middle for an easy approach, but the second guy slices
his over the trees and it ends up on the buggy path of the adjoining hole.
"Guess I get a free drop from the cart path", he says. "Oh no," says
guy 1, "We agreed to play it as it lies."
So guy 2 drives guy 1 up to his ball in front of the green, drops him
and his bag of clubs off and drives over to his ball on the cart path.
Guy 1 watches in amusement as sparks fly from the practice swings of
his opponent, then, in amazement as a perfectly struck shot lands on
the green and roles to within three feet of the pin. Guy 2 drives back to the green.
Guy 1: "Great shot back there! What club did you use?"
Guy 2: "Your seven iron."
The Dentist
A man was sitting in his dentist's chair, when the dentist asked him to
scream loudly as if he were in great pain. He asked, "Why? I'm not in
any pain."
The dentist replied, "There are too many people in the waiting room,
and I have a 2 o'clock tee time."
Easy to be brave
The man said to the dentist, "Doctor, I'm in one hell of a big hurry!
I have two buddies sitting out in my car waiting for us to go play
golf. So forget about the anesthetic and just pull the tooth and be
done with it-- I don't have time to wait for the anesthetic to work!"
The dentist thought to himself, "My goodness--this sure is a very
brave man, asking me to pull his tooth without using anything to kill the pain."
So the dentist asked him, "Which tooth is it, sir?"
The man turned to his wife and said, "Open your mouth, Honey, and show
the doctor which tooth hurts."